I have learned to love my time to myself...LOVE it. Once upon a time...I hated it, but being the only child I had to learn to at least like it. Then as I have gotten older I have learned to LOVE it and crave it. You can tell when I need a "me break" because I start getting all irritable and agitated (not the bipolar mixed episode kind).
Luckily, I managed to get a few days to myself and I did what.I.wanted...for the most part. I took lots of naps and caught up on some laundry. I ate "healthy" junk food...but I think when you over eat the healthy it equals junk. I wore workout clothes Saturday like I was gonna workout...who cares, people at least thought..."oh, she got her fitness or is going to get her fitness on." Wrong, I got lazy. I got to sleep with my Red dog on the pillow next to me...she seriously enjoys pillow time, just between us!
I kinda feel like I had a mini vaca...a mini break.
Did anyone catch Kim and Kourtney take New York last night? OH...they totally re/edited to make my future husband look like a major ass...NO Worries...I can see through all of the fake and I still love him!
11.28.2011
11.25.2011
Let's just be Honest here
I used to have a tabloid addiction...it was terrible. During breaks at school I could be found reading a tabloid. I suppose no addiction is cheap, but I had to give up the tabloids eventually because it was hurting my pocketbook!
Y'all, I have a confession to make...today I bought OK magazine. Honestly, I only bought it because it has my next baby daddy on the front of it. I wanted to read what Kris Humphries had to say about his pending divorce through a "source close to him". According to the "source" he still has hopes Kimmy will come home to stay, but she not...I know that, you know that and I am pretty positive he knows that, too...but he really loved her and cared about her so of course it is only natural to want to make your marriage work.
The thing he doesn't know that has hit him yet is...well ME!!! I love him...um yeah, I watch Keeping up with the Kardash's and I fell in love with him. I was jealous that she was going to be Mrs. Humphries...but in the end she couldn't even give him the respect to take his name at least LEGALLY...professionally she can be Kardash all she wants, but a name change for a man you love is necessary in my eyes. Oh well, we will see what happens and see if I do indeed to eventually get to make that move out to Minnesota that she wasn't willing to make.
In other news...I made chili today...enough to freeze and keep my belly warm and full for a while. I am actually pretty proud of myself because I was just tired and felt like napping all day and no I didn't have to stand over it and supervise it or anything, but I feel like I accomplished something...so now I can sleep tonight with sweet dreams of my future husband...;)
Y'all, I have a confession to make...today I bought OK magazine. Honestly, I only bought it because it has my next baby daddy on the front of it. I wanted to read what Kris Humphries had to say about his pending divorce through a "source close to him". According to the "source" he still has hopes Kimmy will come home to stay, but she not...I know that, you know that and I am pretty positive he knows that, too...but he really loved her and cared about her so of course it is only natural to want to make your marriage work.
The thing he doesn't know that has hit him yet is...well ME!!! I love him...um yeah, I watch Keeping up with the Kardash's and I fell in love with him. I was jealous that she was going to be Mrs. Humphries...but in the end she couldn't even give him the respect to take his name at least LEGALLY...professionally she can be Kardash all she wants, but a name change for a man you love is necessary in my eyes. Oh well, we will see what happens and see if I do indeed to eventually get to make that move out to Minnesota that she wasn't willing to make.
In other news...I made chili today...enough to freeze and keep my belly warm and full for a while. I am actually pretty proud of myself because I was just tired and felt like napping all day and no I didn't have to stand over it and supervise it or anything, but I feel like I accomplished something...so now I can sleep tonight with sweet dreams of my future husband...;)
11.24.2011
Just another Day
Last night I was a little worried that I may not manage my first "official" holiday without my daddy, but here I am...it's almost midnight and I managed. Thanksgiving was never a big deal for us...just another day. A lot of times dad would stay on the road and keep working so he could have an extra week at Christmas, but still it being that first holiday I wasn't sure how I would cope.
I got up this morning and said to myself..."it's just another day." Got dressed, made coffee...maybe ate some breakfast and I headed out to the park where I walked/jogged 3.1 miles (hmmm...a 5K). At the end of my walk I found a spot where I could see the creek that was really a'flowing from the recent rain and I just thought. I looked and listened to the peacefulness of no hustle and bustle of the day and enjoyed my time to myself with nature. To be honest I thought to myself, "if this wasn't just a creek in this itty bitty town my daddy would have loved it." I stayed there for almost an hour just thinking and processing.
Once I left there I swung by the grosto (grocery store...a new friend introduced me to his word and I am lovin it!) There was just something about it that called my name...maybe it was because there was hardly any cars in the parking lot. I mean, for me...it was just another day. I wondered around and picked up a few things and then out of nowhere I decided I was gonna make a cheesecake. Geez, my daddy loved cheesecake. I'm not sure how he felt about Eggnog, but I ended up making a Eggnog Cheesecake that ended up being quite a hit and obviously I ended up going to a family function...by far not my own family...but I did attend a Thanksgiving dinner and that made my "just another day" a holiday and I am okay.
On the other hand, my mother made plans with some of her family and didn't have as good of a day as I did, but like I told her baby steps...that's all I have to give right now and I can't handle being around people that are determined to micromanage our grief. I can't handle anymore negative in my bubble...it is already full of what I bring into it myself and I am working on purging that!
So...I hope everyone had a Happy "just another day" or Thanksgiving...whichever one suits you best.
I got up this morning and said to myself..."it's just another day." Got dressed, made coffee...maybe ate some breakfast and I headed out to the park where I walked/jogged 3.1 miles (hmmm...a 5K). At the end of my walk I found a spot where I could see the creek that was really a'flowing from the recent rain and I just thought. I looked and listened to the peacefulness of no hustle and bustle of the day and enjoyed my time to myself with nature. To be honest I thought to myself, "if this wasn't just a creek in this itty bitty town my daddy would have loved it." I stayed there for almost an hour just thinking and processing.
 |
| Eggnog Cheesecake...no springform, and it is cracky...but proof I actually made it! |
On the other hand, my mother made plans with some of her family and didn't have as good of a day as I did, but like I told her baby steps...that's all I have to give right now and I can't handle being around people that are determined to micromanage our grief. I can't handle anymore negative in my bubble...it is already full of what I bring into it myself and I am working on purging that!
So...I hope everyone had a Happy "just another day" or Thanksgiving...whichever one suits you best.
11.23.2011
Where in the world have I been?
Yep, I get it for blogging to be "therapeutic" you must get to it and do it! Stick with it. Once upon a time on that site called "myspace"...remember way back? Okay I am kidding it wasn't that way back, but once upon a time there I blogged pretty regularly...until all the drama and what not started happening there. Oh well.
So...in the last year a million and one things have happened that has literally turned my life upside down and I had made a couple attempts to get back at "blogging it out", but then the bottom completely fell out of the sky and I hardly had time to shower for a few months...must less turn my computer on. A couple weeks ago I was taking a baby step at trying to get everything back into order I mentioned to someone that I was there to try and get my "hot mess of a life" straighten out. We laughed at my comment and then the lady was like...that would be a perfect blog that you would then turn into a book that would subsequently become a movie and I would not forget the little people that helped me try to turn my life around.
Well, here goes...a goal...I am gonna try to take time out every day and "blog it out", but if it doesn't happen everyday...it will be okay too. But there are things that I feel like I need to put out there and maybe save some money on therapy...;) Eventually, I will explain more of what has been going on, but for now I'll leave it at...no there was not a psychotic break...YET (with the holiday's right here it feels like one could happen at any moment), I haven't been in prison...YET...hehehe and no marriages or babies. I just proofread which is something I don't like to do...but kinda glad I did because something about all of that made it sound like I had been on drugs or something...so no there was no drugs either...damn, so boring, huh?
Okay, get to this and lets see what tomorrow brings. I honestly don't have any Turkey Day plans...and for once I don't care!
So...in the last year a million and one things have happened that has literally turned my life upside down and I had made a couple attempts to get back at "blogging it out", but then the bottom completely fell out of the sky and I hardly had time to shower for a few months...must less turn my computer on. A couple weeks ago I was taking a baby step at trying to get everything back into order I mentioned to someone that I was there to try and get my "hot mess of a life" straighten out. We laughed at my comment and then the lady was like...that would be a perfect blog that you would then turn into a book that would subsequently become a movie and I would not forget the little people that helped me try to turn my life around.
Well, here goes...a goal...I am gonna try to take time out every day and "blog it out", but if it doesn't happen everyday...it will be okay too. But there are things that I feel like I need to put out there and maybe save some money on therapy...;) Eventually, I will explain more of what has been going on, but for now I'll leave it at...no there was not a psychotic break...YET (with the holiday's right here it feels like one could happen at any moment), I haven't been in prison...YET...hehehe and no marriages or babies. I just proofread which is something I don't like to do...but kinda glad I did because something about all of that made it sound like I had been on drugs or something...so no there was no drugs either...damn, so boring, huh?
Okay, get to this and lets see what tomorrow brings. I honestly don't have any Turkey Day plans...and for once I don't care!
5.05.2011
5.04.2011
What A Day...Seriously
Geez my knees, the allergies were getting better until it rained cats and dogs last night and then...boom allergy attack from hell! I thought the rain was suppose to was the allergens away...I can't tell!
The bestie called last night to tell me that a really good friend of ours sister-in-law was in a pretty bad car accident and they were calling the family in. It is funny how the information that we got was lost in translation. The story changed this morning to it was our friend who was in the accident...wow...after I took a gander on facebook I realized that it wasn't a car accident...it was a suicide attempt!!!! It is crazy how the info went from here to Alabama then back here to me...no wonder the info got all twisted. From what I understand she is in the hospital in critical condition. I plan on going by to see her tomorrow for a minute after my fabulous dentist appointment...I have to pass info on to the bestie because they were really close and with her stuck in Alabama with exams around the corner she is beside herself.
So....the dentist....yucko, but with all the pressure in my head from my stupid allergies it is making a tooth hurt....plus, I am overdue a cleaning.
Here's to a better day tomorrow....XO
The bestie called last night to tell me that a really good friend of ours sister-in-law was in a pretty bad car accident and they were calling the family in. It is funny how the information that we got was lost in translation. The story changed this morning to it was our friend who was in the accident...wow...after I took a gander on facebook I realized that it wasn't a car accident...it was a suicide attempt!!!! It is crazy how the info went from here to Alabama then back here to me...no wonder the info got all twisted. From what I understand she is in the hospital in critical condition. I plan on going by to see her tomorrow for a minute after my fabulous dentist appointment...I have to pass info on to the bestie because they were really close and with her stuck in Alabama with exams around the corner she is beside herself.
So....the dentist....yucko, but with all the pressure in my head from my stupid allergies it is making a tooth hurt....plus, I am overdue a cleaning.
Here's to a better day tomorrow....XO
5.02.2011
Pretty sweet giveaway by Kelly at The Centsible Life and the people behind Checkngo are giving away the free iPad 2! Enter to win here: http://bit.ly/TCLiPad.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND MEEEEE!!!!!
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND MEEEEE!!!!!
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